Monday 30 May 2011

'What if these moments between us mean more than we could Dream?' - Allie Moss

Who's to know when the important things in life are coming up? Or if they've already passed us by? For all we know, that moment, that person, that decision, that seemed so inconsequential at the time could have been the pivotal crossroad between happiness and, well, fierce mediocrity. Sounds serious doesn't it? My housemate has actually asked me not to discuss this idea with her for the anxiety it creates. That guy that smiled at you as you were buying a paper the other day - mild flirtation? Should you have acted on it? That girl who you spoke to all night in a pub, who then had to leave because she needed to be up in the morning for work so had to call it a night - a memory of a pleasant evening or a missed opportunity? To get a little dull if I may, this bring us onto the aspect of chance and serendipity. Hindsight means nothing if you believe that these chances, these decisions, will keep coming. They happen every day. Every day. The difference between moving forward and taking those chances doesn't even have to mean recognising them when they come, it's just not dwelling on those moments that we think may have passed us by. By not regretting, by being open to 'moments' you never know what path your life might lead down.

As always, I try to relate this to me in someway - not because I'm incredibly self-indulgent obviously, more because it might make more sense in my own head. That's the excuse I like to rely on at least. In all truth though, Allie Moss's lyric did get me wondering about what I should act on and what I shouldn't. If anything, a second thought about being proactive rather than being instantly dismissive makes for a much more fulfilled mindset. It's a minor change, but actually stepping back and thinking, 'this IS a choice I can make', and knowing that you can decide what happens next is weirdly empowering, even if you come to the same conclusion as you would have before this change in outlook. Jesus, I sound like some sort of fucking life coach - which I HATE - buuuuut if I hadn't tried it myself I wouldn't preach it. Recently, I had a date (garnered through this new openness to invitations)which is not an uncommon event in my life if I'm honest but what was different here, is that I asked her for dinner, I thought 'Why not?' and broke my cardinal rule of never asking through fear I would get shot down in flames. As it turns out, we had fun but absolutely nothing in common, a result that I was absolutely fine with. It was a night with a girl that I didn't know, but now I do. Did the moments between us mean more than what they were? I think not. But at least I know. And when I eventually do have a moment with that someone that I want to spend my life with, I'll be pleased that I didn't just recognise it, I was open to it. Because without hindsight, that's all we really can be.